You know why you push them away.
You just can't stop doing it.
You've talked about it. You understand it. You're still doing it.
You've done years of therapy. You know your attachment style. You can name the exact moment you choose unavailable, push away when it gets good, or sabotage right before commitment.
You understand why you do it. You've traced it back to childhood. You've journaled about it. You've set intentions.
And you're still doing the thing.
That's not a character flaw. That's a structural gap — between what you know and what your nervous system will actually let you do.
Insight doesn't close that gap. Completion does.
Map what’s actually
running the pattern
The Push Away Moment: a workbook that maps the precise system underneath your relationship pattern — not the story you already know, but the structure you can't see from inside it.
You'll get it now, plus emails when there's something real to share.
Finish the pattern at its source — so the reflex doesn’t run anymore.
Therapy gave you language for the pattern. It helped you understand where it started and why it runs.
But understanding lives in your conscious mind. The pattern doesn't. It lives in your nervous system — in the part of you that makes available people feel wrong and unavailable people feel like home.
You can't think your way out of something your body learned before you had words for it.
This work goes where the pattern actually lives. We make it visible through systemic constellation work. We witness it. And we complete it — so it stops running your relationships.
Stop Running.
Face What’s Real.
Build Real.
That's the shift.
You stop running. Not because you're trying harder, but because the impulse quiets.
You face what's real. Not because you've built better coping strategies, but because the charge is gone.
You build something real. Not because you've chosen differently on purpose, but because unavailable stops pulling.
That's what completion does. It doesn't give you tools to manage the pattern. It ends the pattern's hold.
Together We…
DESCEND
We go beneath the story you already know — to the inherited loyalty, the survival pattern, the structural origin of the reflex.
WITNESS
We make the pattern visible through constellation work — not as a concept, but as something you can see and feel operating.
COMPLETE
We end it. In the field, while it's visible. Spoken, witnessed, final.
EMERGE
You surface without it. Not "managing it better." Done carrying it.
The pattern started before you. We complete it where it began.
This work is for you if you:
Know your attachment style and can name the pattern while you're running it
Have done years of therapy and still find yourself choosing unavailable or pushing away when it gets real
Are exhausted by self-awareness that doesn't change the behavior
Are ready to stop processing and start completing
You don't need someone to explain you to yourself. You need someone who can take you to where the pattern actually lives — and hold the container while you end it.
If that's where you are, we're here.
What completion actually feels like
You stop pushing them away. Not because you're trying harder. The urge just isn't there.
Available people stop feeling wrong. The pull toward unavailable quiets. You're not forcing yourself to choose differently — the old reflex isn't running.
You can think about past relationships without the knot in your chest. No resentment, no obsessing. Just — done.
The most common thing people say after: "I didn't have to try. It just stopped."
THE REVEAL — $250
90 minutes. See what's underneath the pattern.
You know you push them away. In this session, we map why the pattern runs — whose it is, where it started, and what completing it would actually require. You'll leave knowing whether this work is for you.
The Ways In
The Break (2-Month Program - $1,800)
For the pattern that won't stop on its own.
Month 1: We locate the exact structure — the inherited loyalty, the survival reflex, the moment the pattern activates.
Month 2: We complete it through constellation work and depth methodology. Witnessed. Final.
This isn't ongoing processing. It's a bounded container with a defined ending.
The Deep (Two-Day Intensive - $5,500 virtual / $6,500 in-person)
Total immersion. Complete the pattern at its source.
For people who don't need eight weeks — they need two days of full descent, witnessed completion, and 90 days of integration support to seal it.
You leave done. Not "working on it." Done.
Who holds this work
*
Who holds this work *
I'm Trish Calhoun. I spent most of my adult life choosing the wrong people — not because I didn't understand why, but because understanding wasn't enough to stop it.
I knew my attachment style. I could see the pattern running in real time. I still chose unavailable. I still pushed away the ones who could actually stay. And I watched what that cost — not just me, but my kids.
Therapy gave me language for all of it. But language didn't complete it.
What changed was seeing the structure underneath the pattern. I trained in systemic constellation work under Michael Spayd for five years. That work showed me something therapy never could: the pattern wasn't mine to begin with. It was inherited — a loyalty I was carrying without knowing it. And it could be completed.
That's the moment everything shifted. Not gradually. Structurally.
I'm married now. To someone who stays. I don't push him away when it gets good. I don't sabotage when intimacy deepens. The impulse to run still surfaces sometimes — but it doesn't drive my behavior anymore. It doesn't decide what happens next.
I built The Put It Down Method™ because I needed it first. I bring eight years of military service, fifteen years leading enterprise-scale transformation, ICF coaching certification, and five years of constellation training to this work — because patterns this deep don't shift through conversation. They complete through structure, containers, and witnessed endings.
I know exactly what you're carrying. Because I've put it down.
Ready to stop carrying it?
Start with The Reveal — 90 minutes to see what's running the pattern and whether this work is right for you.
Already know you're ready? Book The Break or explore The Deep.
Not ready to start but want to explore the possibility?
Contact Trish using the form below
